What We Don't Know

Until now I was never able to understand sonograms...like those silly magic eye posters. Never got anything from them but a headache. Look at them, though! There is no doubt that there are two of them. Two heartbeats, two heads. They have four arms and four legs (they are not conjoined, I checked). By the way it looked, they are in two seperate amniotic sacs, which I assume means they are fraternal. I'm not sure yet.

I am being referred to a maternal-fetal specialist since having multiples is a high-risk pregnancy. I haven't met with an actual doctor yet. All I know so far is that I will have more detailed ultrasounds, and I'll probably be poked and prodded and tested a little more than usual. It will all be worth it in the end!

I've been carrying these sonograms around with me everywhere. Sometimes on my lunch break, I will get them out and stare at them, as if there aren't a million more ultrasounds to come! Yet these will always be the most special, because they capture the first moments I ever laid eyes on them, acknowledged their existence as twins, and watched them move. I daydream about what they will look like and be like as they grow up. Sometimes I get a little afraid that one or both of them won't survive in my belly, which I think is a normal fear. I can't feel them or hear them or see them. I know nothing about them at this point. Boys, girls, one of each? Fraternal? Identical? I don't even know that much. To comfort me, I think about these verses:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...
your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:13 & 16)

There is nothing more comforting to me right now than to know that God has already decided His plans for their lives, and now He is carefully forming their little bodies. All I can do is try to stay healthy and prayerful (which is much easier said than done) and God will take care of the rest. I know this all sounds cheesy, but I think it's pretty good for being on nausea meds that make me drowsy and all out of sorts.

Stay Tuned...