Please Pray for Our Girls

Right now, I can't think of anything worse than overcoming the irrational fear of losing a child, only to be told later that it might happen afterall. There really is no better way to say it or any benefit in beating around the bush. The simple fact is that Baby B might not make it. Our only hopes are that a) Baby B miraculously makes a comeback or b) they can hang on in there at least until the 28th week (5 more to go). Let me explain...

Ultrasound #7. Doctor #4.

Doctor 4 finally gave me some answers. I was by myself, and she had a lot to explain, so forgive me if I miss some details. She told me that she was deeply concerned about the growth of Baby B. Every time I go back to the specialist, the weight difference between the two babies keeps growing as Baby A advances and Baby B lags behind. Baby B grows...but not enough. The blood flow through her cord is restricted. It's called placental dysfunction or placental insufficiency, when the placenta isn't providing enough oxygen or nutrients to one of the babies. My understanding is that the placenta just isn't big enough for the two of them, and Baby A benefits more from it, leaving Baby B the leftovers. There's nothing they can do to improve the blood flow.

Doctor 4 explained to me that if she might pass away in the womb and too much time passed before anyone knew it, Baby A would be affected (they share the same network of blood vessels in the placenta) and possibly develop neurological defects. She gave me the option of "clamping Baby B's cord," but Allan and I refuse.

The plan: I am on modified bed rest until Tuesday, April 28th when I go into the specialist again. If they find she still isn't improving or gets worse, I'll be given steroids to stimulate lung development, hospitalized indefinitely, and monitored closely in case something happens where they can act quickly. Either way, our best bet is praying that Baby B hangs on long enough that they could both survive outside the womb.

I know my words are very sterile and scientific. Don't be fooled: I am a wreck. In a way, I try to comfort myself by thinking about all the women who have been told that their babies have a very slim chance of survival, and they end up making it and living happy lives. All I know is that God is bigger, and this Easter I was reminded of his miracles. I also know that whatever God's plan is, he chose us to endure it. To me, that is a major compliment. Still, none of this news is easy to come to terms with completely, and we ask you to please pray for our family. We can't imagine the rest of our lives without our twin baby girls.